Zephieyr Instructions Sheet
Table of Contents
1. Quick set-up and construction
2. Customizable construction options
3. Maintenance
4. Safety guidelines and concerns of use
5. Troubleshooting
a. Seepage
b. Erosion
Section 2: Translations
Quick Set-Up Guide
1. Carefully unpack. Lay out component parts and compare to diagram 1a.
• Due to the entirely organic processes used in construction, color may vary slightly. There may be natural variations to the color of the casings and the size of the main grommet.
• Product may have settled during shipping. If the bags look empty, shake and fluff into wholeness.
2. Sheet the Zephaer. Be careful to leave the central flap unsheeted. Zephiyr models I, IV, ?, and ? have four other flaps to sheet. However, if it is windy, or if there is an impending power failure, you must pinch the layers of the corrugated sheeting together to prevent it from unflapping.
3. Always remember: Dirt is the Worst! Fully separate the main body of the Zephaer from the floor or the ground before flaking becomes uncontrollable. You should always have adult supervision, and a bucket of water on hand to prevent Spillage or Seepage.
a. See Page ivx for a full description of strategies for stopping flaking, including controlled exfoliations.
e. Caution: leakage could cause severe disfigurations of the mouth or other relevant orifices. If such leakage should occur, contact your local poison control center
4. Decouple your completed Zephyier from its light-touch valves using a socket-hammer. The Zephyar will soon learn to sustain itself on its own WASTE, however, you must ensure a constant flow at all times to the unit.
5. Using the double-barreled nozzle provided, inflate the Zephayer until its surface is taut and the secondary layer presses against Flap 3
6. Congratulations on your completed Zephieyir! In order to prevent it blowing away, affix the guy lines provided to the windy side (see Option 3)
Customizable Construction Options
Note: some of these options are highly volatile. Consult your therapist before you Follow the instructions for option 2.
Option 1—Colored Backplates. For a wider range of backplate colors, including glow-in-the-dark and disco options, see our online catalog. To change the backplate, unscrew the flywheels behind the secondary vestibule, remove the original steel backplate, and carefully insert the new plate. Secure and rotate. For Zepheiyrs within the public domain, it is recommended that the color of the backplate component be changed frequently to maintain audience interest.
Option 2—In emergencies and criminal contingencies, the Zephaeyr can be made to flow backwards. However, doing so on high speeds can cause disjunctions in the outer casing that could lead to cracking. In order to reverse the flow, simply insert a court-ordered reversal subpoena into the intake valves. After evaluating the authenticity of the document (usually about 12 min), the Zephiear will automatically reverse Flow. Evacuate vicinity immediately.
Option 3—Guy Lines. For extra support on windy days, you can attach the provided guy lines to the windward side of the unit. Use the loops and stakes provided, and attach the lines firmly to the ground.
Maintenance
Bi-Monthly Routine Maintenance
This rigorous maintenance and tuning routine should be performed on a bi-monthly basis to prevent component failure, blockages, outages, and total collapse.
f. Controlled exfoliations should be performed upon the surface of the Zeyphir as part of your regular maintenance of the unit.
i. To exfoliate the Zephayer, lift the front cover and remove the inner cartridge.
ii. Using rubber gloves, run the cartridge over all the sheeted surfaces of the Zeypher. Rub against the grain. The sheeting will flake geometrically.
iii. Consume or dispose the excess in hazmat container. Do not pour down the drain.
g. Rotate the grommets regularly. If your grommets have already gone, there is no need to rotate them.
h. Dissassemble the driveshaft, lubricate the component parts with proZeph SpeedOil (available in our online catalogue), and reassemble.
Safety
• The Zephayer is not a toy. Keep away from nose and mouth.
• Use Zephiayr only under supervision, adult or spiritual (also available from our online catalogue).
• When using SuperVision, make sure the SuperVisor is raised and can see all primary angles of the Zephaeyr without needing to rotate or readjust.
• In the event that the Zephyer overruns itself, evacuate the vicinity immediately and call your local department of corrections.
• If there is a buildup of WASTE in the fuel tank, siphon some of it off immediately.
• To prevent universal damage, only use your Zephyiar on hardwood floors.
Troubleshooting
• Seepage
o If your unit begins to leak or seep, check for blockages in the WASTE uptake tubes.
• If there is a block, carefully disassemble the secondary pneumatic assembly, clean all component parts, and reassemble.
• If there is no blockage in the pneumatic assemblies, then there is a problem with your power supply. Contact your local electricity provider.
• Erosion
o If you use your Zephaier on other than hardwood surfaces, it may cause erosion. If you find yourself sliding towards the unit, immediately cease its operation and allow it to consume the rest of its WASTE.
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ZEPHAYIER: DELIVERING PROFESSIONAL SUCTION AND PRODUCTION SOLUTIONS SINCE 1973