so i submitted that essay that most of you have read to some online lit mags (starting with the one you suggested, JP). The first one to get back to me was www.bigbridge.org (check it out now). I like their site, and have been working with them. They want to put it under the “war papers” section, which you can find by going to features. They liked it as a pdf: cinematic essay . But I’ve showed it to some people in that form, and everyone skips over the text boxes, which I regard as a vital part of the piece. And it’s sort of lame to have a piece on an online lit mag as a .pdf that you have to download. So I made an HTML piece out of it. Thanks to Tyler’s help, you can see it here:
http://www.pinkoscopies.org/jed/Documents/1..html
Wait, but before you click on that, let me ask you for some help with feedback. I have time to make this better. And I want help with ideas about how to make it visually/spatially more interesting.
Pretty much what I’ve heard over and over about this peice is that it just doesn’t quite make it: it’s either too much or not enough to be too much. THis is what the guy at the lit mag said:
” ” True violence is ahistorical, it happens every day, and it leaves an unsightly stain upon the carpet. Not a rupture in time, but a continuity. Houses shield thousands of battered and bruised families, molested and beaten, from public view. Prisons have drains on the floor to drink the blood. ”
During this paragraph I think I want to see something that contrasts or heightens it not as illustration but as juxtaposition. Specifically I question the last line as being a little over the top but then if it were juxtaposed with something that was very different than that, like something to do with something that “drains”, like a quote about what we do each day in an everday way that suggests our capacity to ignore or perpetuate violence, like shopping at the mall.
This is a very dumb recommendation on my part but I am trying to accelerate the reference and broaden the scope of the reference so it does not seem “over the top” or “melodramatic”. Often this can be done by going even further over the top. What I am saying is to not take my comments as fact or specific direction but as a way of distancing yourself from your own position so as to possibly expand your position. Does this make sense?”
The answer was, no, that doesn’t make sense, but of course I pretended that it did, or tried to say it tactfully. It made sense for an analysis of the first paragraph, but I had trouble generalizing it to the rest of the piece.
I know that JP has comments on this essay that I haven’t seen yet, too.
I don’t know when this has to be done by.
The version on the .pdf isn’t the same text as the version on the html.
So basically this shit’s just all over the place right now.
Help me come up with a title ? With no other ideas, I’ll call it “true violence is ahistorical”. Lame, huh?
Jed - I’m going to give you some feedback as soon as I get a chance to digest this stuff - had to get up at 5 am today to pack a truck full of DVDs…
in the meantime, you should definitely watch Battle of Algiers, if you’ve never seen it. Watch it today. It’s a great film, and it’s totally pertinent to ahistorical/historical violence, especially with General Patreaus talking about progress in Iraq.
September 11th, 2007 | #
I did see that, a few times…it’s such an important film for everyone to see. I was lucky to have seen it for the first time at a pretty formative time in my life, and it stuck with me.
But just the other night, I watched a really interesting sort of counterpoint to it. Godard’s “Le Petit Soledat.” It’s about a French agent in that Algerian revolution. Being Godard and French, it’s much less concerned with historical accuracy, especially in the visual–I think it was probably just filmed in Paris. It was a bit less concerned with making political points; the netflix summary (I both loathe and am entertained by those summaries) said that it was “essentially apolitical” and yet it was banned in France for quite a number of years.
But it is helpful to bring that stuff up in this context; maybe the piece would really benefit from some real history and politics, some discussion of the eternal cycles of violence. I’ll try going down that road some tonight.
September 11th, 2007 | #
yowza. Way to go, man. Good job, glad they’re running it. I will get my feedback to you asap.
September 11th, 2007 | #
ditto from me man, I’ll get to it soon.
September 12th, 2007 | #
You don’t worry bout it, you’re moving to england right now, no small thing. give my regards to the motherland.
September 13th, 2007 | #
Jed - would you mind condensing these materials into a zip (I think you already might have) and uploading that as well? Not having the internet is rough when trying to read html stuff.
September 13th, 2007 | #
word. I’m just busting out a new version right now, so hold off, and I’ll put that up with the new one?
btw, is there a space limit on pinko’s servers? I don’t think I’m in danger of it or anything.
September 13th, 2007 | #