MAKAROV: Here, in this book, is written all concerning our desires and their fulfillment. Read this book, and you will understand how empty are our desires. You will also understand how easy it is to fulfill another’s desire and how difficult to fulfill one’s own desire.
PETERSEN: You didn’t half say that solemnly. That’s how Indian chiefs speak.
MAKAROV: This is such a book that it must be spoken of in elevated tones. When I so much as think of it I take off my hat.
PETERSEN: Do you wash your hands before you touch it, then?
MAKAROV: Yes, and the hands must be washed.
PETERSEN: You ought to wash your feet, to be on the safe side.
MAKAROV: That was most unwitty and rude.
PETERSEN: But what is this book?
MAKAROV: The name of this book is secret . . .
PETERSEN: Tee-hee-hee!
MAKAROV: This book is called Malghil.
PETERSEN vanishes.
MAKAROV: Good Lord! What’s this, then? Petersen!
VOICE OF PETERSEN: What’s happened? Makarov! Where are you?
MAKAROV: Where are you? I can’t see you.
VOICE OF PETERSEN: And where are you? I can’t see you either. What are these spheres?
MAKAROV: What can we do? Petersen, can you hear me?
VOICE OF PETERSEN: I can hear you! But whatever’s happened? And what are these spheres?
MAKAROV: Can you move?
VOICE OF PETERSEN: Makarov! Can you see these spheres?
MAKAROV: What spheres?
VOICE OF PETERSEN: Let me go! . . . Let me go! . . . Makarov!
Silence. MAKAROV stands in horror, then grabs the book and opens it.
MAKAROV: (Reads) . . . ‘Gradually man loses his form and becomes a sphere. And, once a sphere, man loses all his desires.’
(Curtain)
By a 1930s Russian writer named Daniil Kharms.
Source: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8926/Kharms/Incidences.html
(1934)
(22) What They Sell in the Shops These Days
Koratygin came to see Tikakeyev but didn’t find him in.
At that time Tikakeyev was at the shop buying sugar, meat and cucumbers.
Koratygin hung about by Tikakeyev’s door and was just thinking of scribbling a note when he suddenly looked up to see Tikakeyev himself coming, carrying in his arms an oilskin bag.
Koratygin spotted Tikakeyev and shouted: — I’ve been waiting for you a whole hour!
– That’s not true — said Tikakeyev — I’ve only been out of the house twenty-five minutes.
– Well, I don’t know about that — said Koratygin — except that I’ve already been here a whole hour.
– Don’t tell lies — said Tikakeyev — you should be ashamed to lie.
– My dear fellow! — said Koratygin — Be so good as to be a little more particular with your expressions.
– I consider … — began Tikakeyev, but Koratygin interrupted him:
– If you consider . . . — he said, but at this point Tikakeyev interrupted Koratygin and said:
– A fine one you are!
These words put Koratygin into such a frenzy that he pressed a finger against one of his nostrils and through his other nostril blew snot at Tikakeyev.
Then Tikakeyev pulled the biggest cucumber out of his bag and hit Koratygin across the head with it.
Koratygin clutched at his head with his hands, fell down and died.
That’s the size of the cucumbers sold in the shops these days!
June 19th, 2007 | #